What do you need?

I love great questions.
This week I realized how great a question “what do you need?” is -
I wasn’t really listening to the conversation between two colleagues until I heard Iqbal ask Janet: “What do you need?” There was a moment’s silence after which Janet succinctly described what she needed and Iqbal replied with constructive advice on how to approach the situation that they were discussing.
My reflection has been on the subtle difference between asking “How can I help you?” and “What do you need?”. The second question moves the responsibility from me trying to figure out how I can make your situation better, to requiring you to be specific about what help is required. It removes the interpretation in my own mind of the situation to clarity for all parties about what is needed. From this, you are likely to find the answer for yourself or the discussion can move on to possible suggestions of how the need can be met. It ends up being a great engagement simply because of a great question.  
“What do you need?” can be an empowering, inquisitive question in the mix of all the other self-talk that goes on in your mind. It can be a split second of interrupting your thinking and getting clarity in your own mind. This enables you to share clearly with others what you need, not only helping you to articulate yourself clearly but also helping other understand you. Clearly, a win-win situation!
Try out the question. Ask yourself. Ask other people. I think it will positively change the way you engage with others.